by Frank Weiler

SIZE MATTERS” in every human endeavor.  That’s what the experts say and so do my friends Herman, Hector and Snoop.  Sometime Herman goes by the moniker “Fritz”.  Fritz is the strongest proponent for “SIZE MATTERS”.  He is a student of fellow German, Albert Einstein,  and claims Einstein’s numbers prove his point.

Fritz says that an autopsy done on Einstein showed that his brain was about fifty percent larger than the average brain.  That probably explains why he was the smartest human being who ever lived.  Fritz also claims Einstein also had large ears.  Is there any correlation between those smarts and ear size?

My friends say “yes” and they also are unanimous in saying there is a correlation between ear size and athletic excellence!

“Snoop says” that everyone knows that large feet translate into more than big footprints.  Large feet are indicative of a total package of large bodily appendages.  That translates into larger than average hands, nose, ears and genitals.  Snoop says that large feet means you will run faster, jump higher and possess better balance and agility.  He also claims larger EARS contribute to ones speed, jumping, balance and agility.  Ears are particularly important to maintaining ones balance while competing athletically.  Larger ears provide better balance and superior agility.

Hector, the “Managua Meteor”, has always been known for his speed on the track.  He was always fastest in the neighborhood.  He always beat us running when we were kids.  The native of Nicaragua ran track in high school and knows about size and athletics.  He has long legs and large feet.  He claims his length makes him fast.  He also has large ears and feels they contribute to his balanced gait.  By the way, those ears must be cute!  The girls always have big smiles when they meet Hector.  I thought it might be those size 13 sneakers but it’s probably those cute ears. It’s got to be the EARS.

Does size matter in bowling?  Is bigger better?  And what  about ears?  Yes, EARS!

Do big ears give a bowler a sensory edge?  Does the bowler with the biggest ears have a competitive advantage over his or her opponent?   Do the best bowlers have big ears?  Do bigger ears mean a bowler has bigger hands and is bigger all around?  Do bigger hands give a bowler an advantage on the lanes?   Herman, Hector and Snoop gave me a unanimous “YES”.

So what do the experts say?  Are bigger ears better? Are bigger ears better for bowling?  Some Otolaryngologists say that there is a correlation between ear size, intelligence and motor skills!  Bowling involves motor skills.  Good bowling is a sport requiring superior motor skills.  Motor skills benefit from large ears.  Ergo,  bowlers with large ears have a physical advantage over bowlers with small ears.

I believe Dan Carter, Earl Anthony, Dick Weber and Billy Welu had large ears!  What about Mark Roth, Marshall Holman and Carmen Salvino?  I don’t know for sure. What about Pete Weber, Norm Duke and Jason Belmonte?   

In photographs I have seen of Pete Weber and Norm Duke both appear to have large ears.  Both may be prime examples that large ears give a bowler a competitive advantage and prove that large ears make for a better bowling.

I have never heard of any professional bowlers or league bowlers discuss how they feel about their  ears and if they feel they in their bowling better.  I know of no testimonial evidence  supporting the premise that ear size matters.         

Regarding the best female bowlers on the planet,  it is difficult to judge ear size and bowling success.  Most women have their ears covered by their hair and there is no way to know the size of their ears. 

Does size matter in bowling?  Do large ears provide a physical and competitive advantage?  Do the best bowlers have big ears?  I guess we’ll never know for sure.  There are opinions on both sides of the question.  Until scientists study the effect of ear size on athletic performance there will not be a conclusive answer.   

I side with those Otolaryngologists who believe ear size matters. That large ears are an advantage in sports , including bowling.

I know that size matters when it comes to hand size.   More hand means  more bowling ball revolutions.  More ball revolutions mean more strikes and higher scores.   So why not the same for ear  size when it comes to better balance and agility meaning more strikes and higher scores?

Post Script.  Some interesting facts regarding ears and ear size.  Dr. Matthew Conrad said that you inherit genes from both parents that affect the shape, size and prominence  of your ears.  Prominent ears are passed  on.  

What are considered big ears?  Ears that stick out from the side of the head more than 2 inches  are considered to be prominent or protruding.  The average ear  is 2.5 inches long with an ear lobe of .74 inches in length and .77 inches wide.  Anything larger in size are considered “BIG”. 

Protruding  or prominent ears don’t cause any functional problems such as hearing loss.  Protruding or prominent  ears are usually caused by an under developed anti-helical fold.

Okay, what about the Guinness Book of World Records?  Kala Kaiwi of Hawaii has the record size ear lobe measuring 4 inches.  Monte Pierce of the United States has the record size ear measuring 5 inches long and 4.5 inches wide.  I wonder if Kala or Monte were bowlers?  If they are bowlers,  I wonder if there ears gave them a competitive advantage.  Remember better balance and better timing mean better bowling.

The mention of hair when discussing the size of women’s earsbrings up another interesting topic. Some experts believe long hair, the style that reaches more than 20 inches in length, detracts from an athlete’s performance. It has to do with draining nutrients from the body to nourish the hair. The theory seems to be disproved by Shannon O’Keefe and other professional bowlers like her. Shannon sports long hair and is currently the best bowler on the PWBA (Professional Women’s Bowling Association) Tour.